I get it, I have been there!
My aim is to help you
Feel amazing in your skin
Get to your optimal weight
Kick any negative mindset out the door
I specialize in women's health including:
- Mental Stress - Anxiety, Irritability & Depression
- Digestive wellness
- Healthy cooking / meal planning
- Diet and Detoxification
- Elimination diets
- Reiki Energy Healing
Warning...long story .. but perhaps worth your time if you're a mom, an overworked business woman, experience anxiety, depression or easily get irritated. I was all the above! I no longer live with stressors (irritability, overwhelm, pressure, anxiety or depression) I have found a way to truly feel Free in my skin and happy with every moment of every day even in the chaos.
I am a mom of 3 - (two teenage boys and a baby girl) and married for over 10 years. In 1999 I started experiencing anxiety, it would come on like a flood over my body and I could feel the blood rush through my face and down my arms. My heart would pound almost as if it would come out of my chest and my mind would go wild. I thought I was going to die! Literally, I remember curling up into a ball on the bathroom floor many times because the cold floor felt so good. The thought of being on the bathroom floor where pee could have potentially been didn't even cross my mind; controlling my breathing, my heart rate and my mind sure did! My boyfriend at the time would say I was over reacting or just get over it, that I was fine! He had no idea. He wasn't inside my bod, perhaps 5 minutes earlier I was fine but anxiety can come on in an instant without any warning or triggers. I would fear going to events with a-lot of people or concerts because what if I had an anxiety attack? I didn't want to be that weirdo that had to go sit on the grass at the concert or hang back in the car while everyone went ahead. (I have done both those things and more) I hated the attention being on me (are you ok? I feel bad? Can I do anything?) I know others care and I do the same when someone else is in need but I try to just sit by someone when they are going through something rather than keep asking questions. More often than not that person just needs silence and to be alone but at the end of the day they are grateful you are with them. I was always grateful when others would sit with me as it would force me to kinda come back to reality and not let the anxiety take me off to crazy town.
By the time I was 28 I had two rambunctious little boys running around. I worked part time but mostly was with the boys as I didn't want to miss an ounce of their growing up. But having anxiety and two little boys who loved to fight all day and well, just be boys I would find my anxiety completely out of control some days. My poor boys knew when they were "having too much fun" because I would look at them and say you're giving me anxiety and they would have to "calm" down so the noises in my head wouldn't make me feel like I was loosing it. I also started to get irritable at my boys when they would thrash the house by spilling on the couch or all over the floor once I just had cleaned. Or jumping on the couch even though they know I hate when they jump on the couch. I found myself getting irritated at everyone people in the grocery store for no reason. I would just judge people and totally talk shit for no reason at all. I was going to a dark place. I felt as though I had so many responsibilities all this sudden and no matter how hard I tried to be a good mom, wife, employee, sibling etc. it was never good enough and then... Depression set in. I became dark and deep and then found myself crying literally daily by myself. No one knew I was so down because why? I don't like attention and what was crying to someone else going to do anyway? Were they going to pay my bills magically or clean my house daily or raise my kids to be upstanding adults? I mean what was crying or complaining really going to do? Nothing! So I didn't, I sucked it up and tried to be the best mom, wife, daughter etc. I didn't know it but I was slowly dying on the inside. I didn't know that by living with anxiety, depression and irritability was actually a stress and stress actually decreases your immune system opening up your body for toxins to settle in and call home. Diseases thrive in a body like mine! I HAD NO IDEA! I truly thought I was healthy. I wasn't overweight, I ate fairly healthy but slowly grew into a closet drinker. (I drank alone at night when everyone would go to sleep) This went on for years. Staying up until about 1 am or so and getting up 7 or 8 rolling out of bed to get the kids off to school and hit the day. I was a perfect storm for disease to set in.
I started my health journey around 2013 not for myself but because of what I was witnessing of friends and family. Remember I thought I was healthy and fine. All my symptoms I lived with on a daily basis I literally pushed aside every single day thinking it was normal or I was being dramatic or ridiculous and suck it up. I was fine! So being witness to friends who were experiencing migraines continuously or thyroid issues and getting prescribed pills which they would have to be on for life or the symptoms would come back. Or experiencing weight gain then doing so many different diets. I felt inside me there had to be a better way then to succumb to pills or the Western way of what a doctor says. Pills, surgery or basically a slap on the back and a good luck. I couldn't be witness. I wanted to help I knew there was a way I could feel it in my bones. So I started reading books so I could find a answer. Well, turns out no one wants to listen to you based on a few books you read. ;) Turns out those first few books were pretty bad ass. Kriss Karr and Kimberly Snyder were my first health role models. I still follow them and think they are awesome. I went down the rabbit hole of health as you say and wholly shit was it confusing. I was more confused than ever. Who knew being healthy was so complicated. I Needed further knowledge and I decided I was going to commit the rest of my life to figuring out answers to truly being healthy and I was determined to make it easy and once I did I wanted to share it with the world. I for sure did not want to be victim or captive to the pills for the rest of my life.
In November 2015 I sat at one of my hobby jobs (that actually took me away from my family a-lot for very little pay and a boss who was a professional mind fucker ) Talk about anxiety and depression wholly shit. She was the worst but I was doing something loved working with animals and being outdoors. (thats one thing I always do things I love because life is to short not to) Anyway.. in November 2015 I came to a realization that I was Not where I wanted to be and I was a complete mess. I asked God to help me show me the way. I was 100% open to whatever path he had laid ahead of me. I said show me the signs and I will follow them. That very day on my computer on the side bar was an ad for Institute of Integrative Nutrition. I called (mind you I always thought being in the health and wellness field was out of reach?!) I committed to the year program on the spot without even talking to my husband. This was a big investment and commitment that I had just said yes to! I couldn't be any more excited. During that year and since that day so many signs and opportunities have arouse. I was able to get certified in pilates, personal and group training, partner with a superfood company and start a new career. Everything was going great or as it seemed. I had a great new career as a pilates instructor and doing great with my Isagenix business but still I was not fulfilled nor helping people with their health the way I knew I should be. So I figured if I could open a gym ( I love pilates, hiit and weights) then I could bring in clients and offer the whole package (training and health coaching) I put in my two weeks and set off. No money saved or nothing just following my heart. The same week I put I left my job to open the gym I found out I was pregnant with our third baby. Say what?! I literally just left a good paying job to open a business with no money in the bank and now I am pregnant. What! This is after I was told I couldn't have any more kids and my youngest son was 10. Talk about stress, and anxiety. I was through the roof. I loved my gym and all my new found members, and once Kai was born I was able to bring her with me. I only had one problem, people only saw me as the pilates instructor and trainer. hmmm. thats not what I expected. In my mind every client would also be dying to be my client for health coaching. Nope! So my stress, anxiety and depression was so full throttle and still if you were to ask me if I was stressed I would have said no. But, if you were close to me you knew the real deal and knew that I was in fact a hot mess slowly dying inside. I was starting to realize that how was I supposed to be a health coach when I was a mess myself. But, I didn't know I was! I was healthy I ate healthy, I didn't drink anymore and I was doing what I loved. But, mentally and emotionally I was a complete wreck. How through my schooling I didn't realize that I needed to combat my mental imbalances in order to prevent disease? I was so focused on everyone else that myself didn't matter. I would just always say I was fine even though I would still cry and shut myself off.
Enter the Solution!
During my schooling at IIN we touched base on something called Ayurveda. Ayur what? It was a 5,000 year old practice that was utilized all holistic healing practices. Everything was from nature. Being more intrigued and wanting to continue my practice so I could help more people I mean truly help them. See, I didn't realize it but as a health coach I am basically simply a counselor. I only listen to and ask questions of my clients. I was not able to recommend certain herbs or treatments, I could barely recommend diet. I knew in my heart I was set for something more. Odds were a very reputable school was right near my home and I could attend in person and they offered clinic hours to work 1:1 with patients. Yes! I was pumped. Actually I found this school when I had opened my gym but since I was pregnant I didn't want to start a new school program until I had my baby so I waited a year and a half until I could dedicate my time and energy to Ayurveda and all it had to offer.
I had no idea! What was in store.
In this past year Ayurveda has truly changed my life! I mean changed my life! Yes, I am a work in progress still but my old self would be so proud of who I am today. Not only had Ayurveda changed my life it has that of my family and hopefully soon spill onto my friends, community, and anyone who is open to listening, learning and implementing. See stress no longer is a curser in my life. Anxiety is not something that haunts me and loud child screams or noises can no longer get rise from me. As I now know how to live happy and free. What!? HOW?! :) You see once you discover yourself who you are, who you truly are you realize nothing of this nonsense that haunted you before even matters. You understand that we all are made up of biological energies (doshas) and you get to understand why other people are the way they are. We are stuck in our ego. Once we find our highest self we can then truly embrace A Superior Life. I have fully seen the light and smile daily and cry for happiness now because i see the light not because i feel stuck in the dark.
I believe we all are like flames and many of us are going through life un-lit but you see one candle can't get lit from another un-lit candle. One can only get lit from a flame that is already burning. My flame got lit and it is never going out! I have never in my life felt stronger mentally and emotionally as I do today and I am overjoyed to know that my light and fire is only going to continue to grow brighter and brighter that no dark energy will ever be able to suffocate my flame out. The greater energy always wins! I know that life is nothing but vibrations of words and thoughts and it is what we think it is. If your brain is in a dark place as will your life no matter how much money or material objects you have. I intend to change the future of integrative medicine along with many others. I am going to help create a ripple effect of health and happiness so women like me can finally and truly feel Happy and Free (Mind, Body and Spirit) without taking prozac, dieting or a harsh fitness routine. This is my story and if yours is anything similar to mine. I would love to light your fire with the help of Ayurveda, pilates, yoga and integrative nutrition.